| Speed kills in the National Football League - but never | | | | away, allowing the Cards to move down to their |
| forget that this sport is predicated on power. Right | | | | 5-yard line with time running out. But Kurt Warner was |
| now, Pittsburgh, Indianapolis, Kansas City, Tampa Bay | | | | sacked back to the 10, and instead of spiking the ball |
| and Cincinnati are each 2-0 and have won their games | | | | to stop the clock (he had 20 seconds left) he tried to |
| by an average score of 25-9. What is it that these | | | | call a play. The result was a false start by Leonard |
| teams have in common besides an unblemished | | | | Davis with seven seconds left, which ended the game. |
| record? That would be their complete and total | | | | |
| dominance along the offensive and defensive lines. | | | | |
| | | | * I know it's only been two weeks, but check out the |
| On offense, these teams are completely controlling | | | | quarterback ratings of these players and tell me who |
| people up front. Pittsburgh, Indy and K.C. each boast | | | | sticks out: Brett Favre (76.1), Peyton Manning (74.7), |
| lines with at least two Pro Bowlers on it. Cincinnati was | | | | Kyle Orton (74.4), Joey Harrington (52.3), Dante |
| one of only two teams that returned all five of its | | | | Culpepper (41.6). If you said Orton you're not only |
| starters from last year. Tampa Bay - I honestly have | | | | correct but you're probably as surprised as me. |
| no idea how they're doing it with that line, but it's | | | | |
| working - possesses the NFL's leading rusher, Cadillac | | | | The Bears young QB has shown moxie and arm |
| Williams (276 yards). These five teams are muscling | | | | strength, but more importantly he's shown results. |
| their way to an average of 155 yards per game on | | | | Through two games, the Bears are leading the league |
| the ground and have yielded only eight total sacks | | | | in third-down efficiency (oddly enough, they're tied with |
| between them. That outstanding play by the offensive | | | | Minnesota and Green Bay) by converting 50 percent |
| linemen is allowing each of these teams to control the | | | | of their chances. Through all of last season, the Bears |
| ball and dictate tempo to their opponents. | | | | managed only 25 percent on third down. |
| | | | |
| Conversely, on the defensive side of the ball it's all | | | | * Why Oakland has made its way to the top of my |
| about getting after the quarterback for these five. | | | | Stay Away From List: The Raiders are down 23-17 at |
| Besides Cincy (two sacks) the other four clubs have | | | | home to the Chiefs on Sunday night. They're driving |
| notched an average of nearly four sacks per game, | | | | down for the game-winning touchdown with around |
| with Pittsburgh accounting for 11 and Indy chipping in | | | | two minutes left, and have just gained 14 yards on |
| nine. While household names like Dwight Freeney and | | | | their last two plays - rushes by the bruising Lamont |
| Simeon Rice still anchor their units, it's been the | | | | Jordan - to get down to the KC 14-yard line. The |
| production of players like the Colts' Montae Reagor | | | | Chiefs defense is exhausted. The Raiders have all the |
| and the Steelers' Aaron Smith that's really paying | | | | momentum. They just need to run right over them, |
| dividends. | | | | killing the clock along the way, right? Wrong. Incomplete |
| | | | pass, four-yard pass, incomplete pass, timeout, |
| All of this may seem kind of remedial and trivial, but it's | | | | incomplete pass. On fourth-and-six, though they still |
| not. I believe that while it takes a few weeks for the | | | | could've gotten a first down inside the 10, they threw a |
| skill players to get in a groove, the pure muscle and | | | | weak lob pass to Joey Porter. They didn't even go to |
| strength of players in the trenches is a determinant of | | | | Moss (forget the fact that they just needed six yards!). |
| early season success. This is important because I think | | | | Unreal. That was a rookie mistake by Norv Turner and |
| that the teams that have the most stability and | | | | Kerry Collins - two retreads who shouldn't be making |
| performance at their foundations - the offensive and | | | | those kind of errors. |
| defensive lines - will be the most consistent throughout | | | | |
| the season, and stats like the ones I've tossed out are | | | | * What a complete and total shocker in Dallas on |
| good indicators of future success. | | | | Monday night. The Cowboys absolutely dominated the |
| | | | first 55 minutes, were up 13-0, and had Mark Brunell at |
| Also, popular opinion about NFL clubs - one of the | | | | third-and-27 with about four minutes to play. Game |
| components used to set a line - is determined in part | | | | over, right? Wrong. Brunell pulls two bombs out of |
| by humans tendency for grandiose delusion, which is | | | | nowhere and all of a sudden Daniel Snyder looks like |
| the process of attributing inflated worth to someone | | | | he just won the Super Bowl. Be wary of the effects |
| famous. This is why people are so quick to assume | | | | this loss has on Dallas next week. A game like that |
| that teams like Minnesota, Oakland and St. Louis are | | | | can be a season-crippler. Also, that says a lot about |
| "good" teams because they identify with the stars at | | | | the character of this Washington squad. That game |
| more visible positions (quarterback, running back, | | | | may have changed the complexion of the NFC. |
| receiver). But what they fail to realize is that each of | | | | |
| those three teams has serious issues on their | | | | * Does anyone else think it might be a bad idea to |
| offensive and/or defensive lines, which leads to them | | | | rebuild the whole of New Orleans back into a major |
| getting pushed around in a game based on physicality. | | | | metropolitan area? I mean, just think about the toxic |
| | | | chemicals - oil, gas, feces, pesticides, decaying corpses, |
| Anyway, that's my little five-cent psychology lesson | | | | etc. - that have been stewing about in that place for |
| for you. Here are the rest of my Week 2 thoughts: | | | | almost a month. And the federal government, in all its |
| | | | glory, didn't even put the Environmental Protection |
| * Gutty performance by Carolina, which showed why | | | | Agency on its list of first responders. Mark my words, |
| you never abandon the run. While their numbers on the | | | | all of that stuff is getting dumped back in the water |
| ground (36 carries, 104 yards) are pedestrian, the | | | | supply and in about 20 years that place is going to look |
| rushing attack paid off with a perfect 3-for-3 | | | | like Venusville from Total Recall. |
| conversion rate in the red zone. A gift touchdown | | | | |
| from the referees (one of Stephen Davis' three | | | | * So far this season Indianapolis has given up just 10 |
| scores) didn't hurt either. The Panthers play Miami, | | | | points in two games. Pittsburgh has yielded 14 points, |
| Green Bay, Arizona and Detroit in the next four | | | | Chicago 15 and Tampa Bay 16 through eight quarters. |
| weeks. Get ready to ride this train. | | | | |
| | | | * I'm not sure what the future holds for the enigma |
| * It will be interesting to see how the Jaguars respond | | | | that is Seattle, but they smacked around an Atlanta |
| to their 10-3 loss to Indianapolis on Sunday. They were | | | | squad that everyone was ga-ga about one week |
| just 22 yards away from overtime in the RCA Dome, | | | | earlier. Seattle has been very good at home (13-3) |
| but there was nothing soft or cutesy about what the | | | | over the past two seasons, but have had trouble on |
| Colts did to the Jags - they just beat them up. Indy had | | | | the road (6-10). I would play them that way until they |
| a drive right out of the 1920's - a 17-play clock drainer | | | | prove otherwise. |
| that featured 14 running plays and straddled the third | | | | |
| and fourth quarters. Edgerrin James (27 carries, 128 | | | | * Minnesota's game against Cincy was over before |
| yards) carried the load for the Colts like he was in a | | | | halftime. That "retooled" Vikings defense got torched |
| contract year or something. | | | | for 337 total yards in the first 30 minutes! Oh, and |
| | | | Culpepper has already thrown eight interceptions (a |
| * The Texans have only scored 14 points so far, but | | | | feat he didn't accomplish until Week 13 last season) to |
| they have faced two of the top five ranked defenses | | | | go with no touchdowns. The Vikings have turned the |
| in the NFL (Buffalo, Pitt). The offensive line, which has | | | | ball over on 12 of their 24 possessions in 2005, and |
| given up 150 sacks since 2001, has already seen David | | | | are the biggest fraud since Dianetics. |
| Carr get dropped 13 times (that's a 104-sack pace for | | | | |
| the year), causing Carr to chew them out on the | | | | * As I'm typing this I'm laughing hysterically at all those |
| sidelines last Sunday. And do you know who Houston | | | | guys who benched Donovan McNabb this week |
| named to replaced departed offensive coordinator | | | | thinking he was injured. |
| Chris Palmer? That's right, offensive line coach Joe | | | | |
| Pendry. | | | | * Dagger-Through-The-Heart Play of the Week: I |
| | | | have New Orleans getting 16.5 points as part of a |
| * In Catholicism, Michael is the Angel of Sunday. If | | | | sweetheart teaser. They're down 27-10 with four |
| that's so, why is it that just about every NFL head | | | | minutes left (after John Carney bounced a field goal |
| coach named Mike (Tice, Sherman, Martz, Holmgren, | | | | off the uprights on their previous possession) and |
| Shanahan) is so shady? Buffalo head coach Mike | | | | Aaron Brooks has them moving down the field. Brooks |
| Mularkey is apparently trying to break into that dubious | | | | hits Joe Horn along the sideline at about the six-yard |
| group. I know where he was coming from when he | | | | line, and while he tries to stretch for the pylon, he loses |
| benched J.P. Losman during the fourth quarter of their | | | | the ball. It's a touchback and the Giants ball. Again, it |
| 19-3 loss at Tampa on Sunday (change of pace, try | | | | was like getting kicked in the nuts while watching your |
| something new, etc.) but I don't agree with it. First, Kelly | | | | girlfriend cheat on you with the guy who just ran over |
| Holcomb would've had to have been Jim Kelly in order | | | | your dog. Only worse. But again, that's why you don't |
| to lead that comeback. Second, all you've done is | | | | bet the Saints. |
| opened that Pandora's Box of a quarterback | | | | |
| controversy, crushed all the warm and fuzzy feelings | | | | * When it comes to hamburgers I only have this to |
| that had been built up, and forced Losman to start | | | | say: catsup = good, barbeque sauce = better, A-1 |
| questioning himself. You're going to lose games during | | | | steak sauce = best. No doubt. |
| the season, that's just the way it is, but the long-term | | | | |
| effects of something like this can linger and be much | | | | * At this point in the season, home underdogs are |
| more harmful. | | | | both 3-2 straight-up and against the spread. Home |
| | | | teams are 23-9 straight up, and 20-12 ATS thus far. |
| Keeping with the theme, how much longer do you | | | | Also, the NFC is 2-1 SU and ATS when playing the |
| think Sherman and Tice will be hanging around this | | | | AFC. |
| season? They both just look completely lost on their | | | | |
| respective sidelines, and their teams are playing with | | | | * I'm still not impressed with the Giants (even though |
| no kind of direction, purpose or heart. Also, Martz was | | | | Joe Theisman obviously is). Remember, they started |
| five yards and seven seconds away from a 0-2 start | | | | 5-0 last year before taking a complete and total |
| at the hands of the two worst teams in football. When | | | | nosedive. They have impressed me with their ability to |
| is somebody going to post odds on which one of | | | | move the ball - but we expected that. The defense is |
| these fools gets canned first? | | | | currently ranked 29th in the league and has yielded an |
| | | | average of 370 yards per game. And like I already |
| * Donald Trump singing Green Acres at the Emmy | | | | mentioned, the Saints were seven combined inches |
| Awards was definitely a highlight of the weekend. You | | | | from 10 more points. |
| could actually see his arms. I didn't even know he had | | | | |
| skin. I thought he was all suit, all the time. Regardless, it | | | | Questions or comments for Robert? e-mail |
| was classic. | | | | |
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